Being a parent is rewarding, but it can also be HARD! And every child is so different. Some are pleasers and follow directions well. Others can push limits. But they all can have BIG emotions. Here are some tips that may help you through some of them!
- Name the Feelings: Toddlers and young children can feel emotions way before they know how to express them. Naming emotions throughout everyday life may help them build an emotional vocabulary and normalize their feelings.
“You look frustrated that your Legos fell down.”
“I can see you are excited to go to Grandma’s house!”
- Model Healthy Coping Skills: Your children are little sponges and are always watching you. How you react to a situation will help teach them how to react. If they see you take deep breaths when you’re upset, they will likely model the same behavior. Practice talking about your feelings out loud.
“I was really sad today, but getting a hug and talking about it really helped.”
“I’m feeling overwhelmed today, so I’m going to go outside and take a walk.”
- Practice Open Communication: Often, we try to fix or dismiss our children’s feelings, but instead, try to validate them. Active listening without solving everything right away helps kids feel heard and respected.
“It’s ok to be disappointed about that—that makes sense that you are.”
“It’s ok to be sad. I’m here for you.”
- Teach Problem Solving: Once your child calms down, then it’s a good time to help your child to think through solutions. This promotes empathy and critical thinking.
“What do you think we could do differently next time?”
“How do you think your sister/brother/friend felt when that happened?”
- Stick to Routines: Children feel safe and in control when there are predictable routines around meals, playtime and bedtime. Consistency (when possible in a crazy busy household!!) can give kids a sense of security and provides emotional regulation.
- Play together! Play is how children process their world! Try role-playing with toys/dolls or draw pictures about feelings. Simply being goofy or silly can help them express emotions in a low-pressure way.
You do not have to be “perfect” to support your child’s emotional development—your most powerful tools are just having consistency, love and a willingness to be present! Never hesitate to ask for support!
